Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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