if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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