I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
