This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
