I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
