I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
