Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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