I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We are all done wearing pants today
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
