what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
