Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
