I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
