also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
