i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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