A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
"it" just moved
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
