Don't you send me to vm
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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