i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
