My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
