thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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