I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
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I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
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I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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