sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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