I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
