"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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