you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
