Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize