Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
