so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
