So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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