apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
