You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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