Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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