North Korea, Best Korea!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
