why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
