I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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