if you like me you must not know who I am
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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