Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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