I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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