you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
