:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
