I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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