yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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