how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
