was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
