Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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