hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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