no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
