just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
