i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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