we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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