I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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