im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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