I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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