I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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