She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
