the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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