I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
