at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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