I don't think brook has ever known best
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
