careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
