Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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