I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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