We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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