I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
