she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
